Surprises, Fatigue, and Updates On Our Case... oh my!

Surprises

At 8.5 weeks <3

Now that we are close to being out of the "danger zone" I am beyond thrilled to report that I am pregnant!!  Officially 10 weeks and 2 days :) 

This was a planned event; Johan and I have been talking about it for almost a full year. We decided when I was with him for a month over the holidays, that we should give it a try.  Due to a few health factors, I have been told that my chances for natural conception and carrying a pregnancy full term are quite low.  I turn 33 this year and I'll be damned if Migrationsverket takes away our chances of having a child.  My doctors told me it could take years to conceive, so you can imagine our shock when, on my last day before flying home, Johan brought the pregnancy test into the living room with a look of wild shock and shouted, "IT'S POSITIVE!" Ahhhhh what a moment.  He was as pale as a ghost and couldn't stop saying, "What the f*ck? What the f*ck!" in a mixture of shock and excitement and more shock.  I jumped off the couch and grabbed him and starting laughing and crying at the same time and just kept saying, "I knew it! I knew it!!"  We ran all the way in the middle of the night and in a snow storm to the farm next door where Johan's parents live, and declared the happy news.  And then I called my sister while he called his sisters, and it was just... a night I'll never forget.  My sister started to cry instantly, and that whole final night we spent together was magical.  It was exactly our 1-year application anniversary, and now immortalized even more by learning we had created a new human :)

The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015/2016 Part 12: The Sambo Summary Publications

UPDATE (16 July2016): As I settle into my new life here in Sweden and enter the final months of my pregnancy, my ability to create the Sambo Summary will continue to decrease.  We have so much going on over here, and it's hard to find time to dedicate to producing these pieces.  Also, I have decreased how involved I am in the support groups (also because of time constraints) and, as such, I will eventually get to the point of not being up to date with all the latest news.  The Maintenance Requirements law will soon go into place (latest update on that is that it will take effect on 21 July 2016) and it will be difficult for me to closely monitor how that will affect overall waiting times in the long term.

Nonetheless, I will continue to do my best to produce these reportssporadically.  So far, we don't see much change in the trends other than that interview emails have started to go out at a normalized pace (about every 4-6 months), and average decision waiting times have actually crept down slightly (by about half a month, give or take).  Everything else is seeming to hold steady.

These reports are PDFs uploaded to Google Drive, and can be downloaded and used as necessary. They are based off of the data we collect and track on  the spreadsheet.

Happy Viewing!

Dreaming of a Decision: Life beyond 12 months of waiting

A lot has happened since I last wrote a "thought piece".  I think one thing that has been super helpful in surviving the past 6 months, has been to remain active in the support groups.  There is something very beautiful about being consoled by perfect strangers who understand exactly what you are going through without you even having to explain it. There is also something very gratifying about helping other people.  It makes you feel useful, and like you're able to bring a little bit of good to a super fucked up situation. 

Maintaining the spreadsheet has taken up a good deal of my idle time, but it's self-serving:  I know it is a powerful tool for other people, but it is extremely meaningful to me as well.  I have no problem confessing that I am a control freak, and the chaos of this sambo process has really pushed me to the edge.  Having the spreadsheet has been a gem to me, to be able to see exactly where we are in the process.  I can't even begin to say how many people were told (after waiting 13 months!) that the wait times are "up to 21 months".  If someone told me that and I didn't have the spreadsheet, I would have just jumped off a bridge right there.  But the spreadsheet says 13-14 months to us still; until that picture changes, I will trust the spreadsheet and invest my feelings and sanity into it alone.

Anyway, I have to say: there has yet to be a more beautiful moment to me in this whole process than celebrating our 1-year application anniversary.  I have read a lot of people mourn this time.  They grieve over how long they have had to wait.  For me, it was such an incredible time to celebrate! I just so happened to be in Sweden celebrating the holidays with my love when our 1-year application anniversary came around, so we were popping champagne and reflecting on what a long journey we have been on, and how happy we are to put one whole year behind us.  Maybe it's because I've been working on the spreadsheet for so long and have known and accepted for a very long while that nothing would happen to our case for 13-14 months; but mostly, it was just knowing that we are closing in on the end.