The Swedish Sambo Visa Process in 2015 Part 9: Anomalies & Conspiracy Theories

Well, fuck.

^^If it weren't for the fact that I've learned my blog is useful to some people, I would have probably just ended my post there.  ;) 

Since I use my blog as a diary of sorts, here are the two main updates for me.  Maybe one day I'll reminisce over these sketchy times with a bottle of overly-priced Systemet wine as I re-read these old memories :)

(Important Update on 12 February 2016): The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 8: Explaining the "New Immigration Rules"

NOTE (12  February 2016): For information on the pending "Maintenance Requirement" rules, please kindly navigate to my Swedish Sambo Visa Part 10: The Sambo Manual post , and scroll to Part E. Maintenance Requirements. In that post, you will find all the latest information I could gather on the impending Maintenance Requirements, as well as links to the official governmental proposal and press release which seem to indicate that all sambo applications submitted BEFORE 31 May 2016 will be EXEMPT from the new rules.

Please bear in mind that as of the date of this update, this is still a proposal.  It needs to be discussed, decided upon, and then implemented.  Anything could change.  So, please check back for more information, and still consider to weigh your options just in case the law turns out to affect some cases retroactively.

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On 24 November 2015, the Swedish parliament ("Riksdag") convened for a press conference. Therein, Prime Minister Stefan Löfven [Social Democrats / Socialdemokraterna ("S")] and Green Party [Miljöpartiet / ("MP")] co-leader Åsa Romson announced notable updates to the asylum seeking procedures in Sweden.  It was an "historic" day in terms of the controls and limitations they have realized are the only way to save the country from collapse.

The rules do not just affect asylum seekers, but also all relationship applications (like us sambo applicants) as well. Sweden's government homepage (http://www.regeringen.se) has an outline article generalizing the measures. The English version can be found here; the Swedish version (including video of the press conference) can be found here.

In addition, a very brief press release about these measures has been published on MV's website here.  Pay particular attention to the last 2 paragraphs of that article.

The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 7b: Application Date Statistics (updated about once every 3 months) - Last update: 30 January 2017

IMPORTANT UPDATE (15 September 2016):  In order for this spreadsheet to remain a relevant resource, I have de-linked the "bigger spreadsheet" where we used to track over 1,000 cases from various sources.  I still have that data if anyone ever wants it for their own research purposes, but due to time constraints I have been unable to continue updating it.

Instead, I have linked up to a new spreadsheet maintained by the I Väntan På Familjen facebook admins.  While that groups is somewhat small, it is very diverse and a good microcosm of the queue as a whole.  It is the spreadsheet that I now use for my sporadic updates of The Sambo Summary (see below for more info)

The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 7a: "Swedish Migration: A Brief History, and What is Happening Now"

As a prelude to my Part 7b: Application Date Statistics, I wanted to take a moment to discuss a very important and hotly contested topic that is affecting all of us applicants: Immigration.

A lot of very disturbing things have been occurring in Sweden recently.  The country is experiencing an unprecedented, record-breaking immigration crisis (and all the social disasters that come with it), and now is as good a time as ever to discuss the history of Sweden's migration to get the "bigger picture" of what is going on. These things should be understood for their full gravity in terms of implications to the country, as well as how it will all affect us.  But before we can understand current events, we must reflect on the past.

The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 6c: A Response from Migrationsverket

In my blog post about the discontinuation of priority status, I had mentioned that I was going through some difficulties recently and, in a bit of a venting session, Johan said (threatened?) that he was going to file a priority request for us. He of course did not submit the request (we both knew there was no chance on this green earth we'd get it anyway), but it was also at this time that we learned he couldn't have filed even if he had wanted to.

And then, the 8-14+ month processing time update came.  I think that wrecked all of us a little bit. Johan and I both had our meltdowns.  And in Sweden, Johan's mom could do nothing but watch on and see what it was doing to her kids.  So she did as any mother does when she see's her child hurting; she hand wrote and mailed a letter to the director of Migrationsverket.

We were not made aware of the letter until the day she mailed it, and only Johan got to read a copy of it (he said it was very gentle and only expressed concern over the situation we all are in - especially the conflicting information we all receive). In less than a week, MV responded with a very thorough and direct email. I debated posting it here because it never feels right to publish emails. None of what was written was in any way bad or secret; it just is the principal of the matter, I guess.

However, I feel the letter was a well-written, data-supported and sincere response.  It was written by a sort of spokesperson for MV as I understand, and I appreciate how they did not sugar coat anything; their compassion and understanding of the situation sounded genuine, and the transparency via numbers makes one feel like MV is not trying to ignore that it is dealing with some severe logistical problems, and they are trying to address them -- it just is going to take time (which we all already knew, but there is a lot of damage control that can be done when someone comes out and just "tells it like it is", instead of giving people the run around and telling them to just be patient while it seems like the sky is falling every other week.)

And by sharing it, it may provide others seeking answers, something to digest.

I have anonymized the letter, redacted one sentence, and did my best to translate it (I improvised a bit; sorry!)   While it does not fix or change anything, or give me any increased cause for hope, it does no less give the cold hard truth, and a fair assessment of the current state of affairs.

"The Seas We Swim": An Open Letter to Migrationsverket

It has been a dark month, but I refuse to apologize for the emotions I have been going through, despite a voice inside my chest that reminds me daily how weak I have become.

I've experienced struggle in this life on many occasions, but while this one is different, it is also not different at all; every day is a reminder of how psychological the notion of "hope" is.  Some days, hope seems nothing more than a lie we tell ourselves in order to inspire our legs to keep treading water for one more day.

"Don't sink now," we tell ourselves.  "The rescue boat could be here tomorrow."  

Meanwhile, we continue to swallow water.  The taste of salt never leaves our lips.

(EDITED) The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 6b: The Ending of "Priority Requests"

EDIT (5 Nov 2015):  For those of you just reading this, it has been explained to us by Migrationsverket that the reason for disabling priority requests was so that they can focus all of their man power on clearing out all of the oldest cases with no decision yet. Since all of us have our cases viewed in the order they are received, this will shorten the wait times for all of us. MV has said that since the wait times have gotten so long, EVERYONE has been requesting priority, which has caused a huge administrative mess -- MV was spending too much time investigating if people qualified for priority, which took a lot of time away from them processing applications in the queue.  As a quick reference, they will not consider pregnancy for priority - we have seen several cases of pregnancies being refused priority already.

As a means of keeping this blog as current as possible (given how many of us are waiting in the wings of a situation that seems to grow more dire by the day), I thought this update was important to share because there is not much press about it.

"It's OK to not be OK."

True story:  I have been terribly sick for a couple weeks now, and between that, exhaustion, and stress, I had a total meltdown on the phone with Johan last Friday. He and I both are dealing with some extremely difficult things in our work and family lives, and I just couldn't find the strength to keep myself together in the moment. In a fit of worry over me, Johan quasi-threatened that he was going to email Migrationsverket the following Monday and request priority because of these certain ongoing stresses in my life.  Of course, we both knew that we wouldn't actually get the priority, so I had surmised that he was just venting his frustration for being separated from me.

Except, that he wasn't just venting.

On Wednesday of this week, Johan and I spoke and I could tell he was extremely upset. I came to learn that he was indeed on MV's website researching how to request prioritization, when he happened upon the fresh new announcement that priority was no longer an available option.

A Quick Post About Swedish Language Resources (and a shameless plug of some recent travel pics!)

I thought I would write a quick post to link up useful websites and share other information I've used to help advance my Swedish language skills.  This will be an evolving post; I'll add more as I come by it.

I first started learning Swedish in 2005 when I had my first relationship with a Swede.  He taught me little phrases here and there, and eventually I bought the Teach Yourself books & CDs package (see #4 on the list below).  Teach Yourself was MUCH cheaper than Rosetta Stone, and seemed just as comprehensive (but a casual disclaimer that I have never tried Rosetta Stone).

When I broke up with the first Swede and wanted to continue learning, I started using LiveMocha.com which was really good for basic learning (see #5 on the list below).  But then I began to want a real penpal to have natural conversation with.  I plugged a name into Facebook, pulled up a list, sent a message to someone who showed up on the list, and 5.5 years later we are engaged!*

*These results are not common...but this is, of course, an entirely true story! ;D

In any event, over the years (especially the last 2) I have really focused on my language skills, and these are some useful websites and tips about learning Swedish that I have used in obtaining fluency.  Please feel free to comment if you have other suggestions!

The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 6a: The Monthly Update of Processing Times On Migrationsverket

EDIT (25 October 2015):  Please note that any screen shots or references to wait times are as of the date this post was written (6 October 2015).  Wait times have since been updated several times.  In order to have the most recent time frames in mind, please reference Migrationsverket's website HERE for the most recent processing times.

Not much to update really on our case.  We learned our case is being handled in the Umeå office, for whatever that's worth - no discernible news online whether that's a good or bad thing.  The silence can be maddening at times, but at other times it becomes easy to melt into day-to-day life.

Johan has been here with me for the past week and a half.  We've done a few days in LA, a 7-day road trip through central California to Monterey and back, and now we are going to head to San Diego.  I just need him to wake up ;)

But while we were in San Luis Obispo I had logged onto a thread on The Local where a poster had indicated that Migrationsverket had updated the permit processing wait times ("Handläggningstider") on their website.  It struck me as odd because, previously, MV only updated these wait times every 3-4 months.  And just one month ago, they had updated the wait times with a 1-month increase in processing time (a screen shot of that can be seen at the bottom of my Sambo Visa Part 2 blog post).

At the time of the update one month ago, many of us felt it was promising news that the wait times had only increased by 1 month given the refugee circus that is ongoing.

So, to hear that wait times had been updated only one month later, was disconcerting.  I hopped over to the Handläggningstider site of Migrationsverket to see what all the fuss was about:

"Don't Think About It": A Thought Piece

I've heard it, read it, thought it, and said it to myself, countless times:

"Don't think about it. Just don't think about The Great Wait."

As of the date of this post, Johan and I are 8.5 months into our wait.  And we expect to wait another 5 months before receiving a decision.  We have come to a place of peace about that.  But still, there are good days and there are bad days.

I wonder: How do you not think about something that your whole life revolves around?  Suppose you would say to a Swede in the dead of winter, "Don't think about the sun." Suppose you would tell a hungry child on the street, "Don't think about food."  Suppose you would tell a house in the shadow of a forest fire, "Don't think about water." Suppose you would tell a new parent, "Don't think about sleep."

Before I get too deep into this, I will say without a doubt that dwelling on an undetermined wait period can and very well might drive you mad.  As I mentioned in The Swedish Sambo Visa Process Part 5, whether time seems to pass slowly or fast, its pace doesn't actually change; it's just our perception that does. And focusing on waiting on anything, certainly guarantees it will feel longer than it actually is.  There are times when occupying your mind with something more constructive than anxiously obsessing over a wait, is very much necessary and warranted.  Usually when you feel intolerable anxiety or suffering, that's when you know it's time to regain control and get a better look at the bigger picture.  Acknowledge you will, in fact, survive this wait. Regroup.  

But, I also chafe against the notion that we should strive always to "not think about it"...

Surviving A Long Distance Relationship: How To Not Get Lost At Sea

I wrote a hand-written letter to Johan last month after watching the documentary Maidentrip, and realized how very much a long distance relationship is akin to being lost at sea.

Everything begins to look monotonous. You find yourself waking up each morning hoping you can spot land... only to be let down by the unending flat line of the horizon.  The sailing is choppy at best, and even sunny days can be brutal.  You begin to wonder when you will start searching for a volleyball to name "Wilson".

9 hours of time difference. 5,490 miles apart. For 5 years, 7 months and counting, that has been Johan's and my commute.  We have never spent more than a month together at any one time.  We went 4 years before ever even meeting in person.  But over time and technologies, we have come to utilize every form of communication at our disposal. We have done everything from making videos on YouTube for one another, to designing, budgeting and building a brand new kitchen using IKEA's layout builder and GoogleDocs.   

Johan and I may not be experts, but we feel we have a bit of experience now with the difficult art of a Long Distance Relationship.  Below are the top 10 tips we can give to anyone in (or soon to be in) an LDR, to help prevent feeling "lost at sea".  Have you got any to share?

50 Songs (and counting!) for When You Really Miss Someone

Music.

Somehow, the combination of words and sounds can make me feel like I am both expressing how I feel, and being understood for how I feel, all at once.  Just like the value of a good cry or having a friend to vent to without repercussion, music is extremely therapeutic.

The following list contains 50 songs (with more being added after publishing!) from an ongoing modern/indie love song playlist we've compiled for those who, particularly, are separated, missing one another, waiting for one another, and/or navigating obstacles.  Our list has about 108 songs on it, but these are some of my favorites.

If you're the type of person who looks to music to help understand what you are feeling, try a few of these out.  I've organized the list to start off soft, build up, and then come back down again. Hopefully I didn't misplace anything and kill the flow!

The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 5: The Science of Waiting (6 Things I Learned in the First 6 Months)

After 6 months of waiting, I did a lot of reflecting on my 3 hour drive to San Diego to do my interview in July, and I wrote some notes about everything I had learned about myself and my relationship with Johan during the first leg of The Great Wait.  In no particular order, they are as follows:

The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 4: The Interview

EDIT: Another reminder that the following information is for NON-EU CITIZEN APPLICANTS.  EU citizens have a whole different process (including not needing to do an interview).  Read more about it on MV's website here. 

Johan and I commenced the second leg of The Great Wait the day after I arrived back in Los Angeles after visiting him in Sweden in June.  Fresh off the plane and full of both sadness and anticipation, I tried to enjoy the nervous feelings of this moment we had waited so long for.  I believe they call it, "living in the moment".... which was hard, knowing we had so long to go before being able to be together again.

I studied my application to make sure I remembered all the dates and details we were required to give in our original application. I brought a binder full of photos, call logs, original flight stubs, my original Single Status paperwork, and made sure I had my passport in hand.  Johan and I also had a couple friends and family write personal statements confirming our relationship, as we had read everywhere that you should bring absolutely everything you possibly can to your interview in case they had specific questions - better to be safe than sorry!

The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 3: The Great Wait

EDIT: Another reminder that the following information is for NON-EU CITIZEN APPLICANTS.  EU citizens have a whole different process.  Read more about it on MV's website here. 

As an American researching the Swedish sambo visa for the first time, you likely first encountered a plethora of dated blogs online (The "Olivia Blog", the "Skinny of the Sambo Visa" blog, or the late "An American in Stockholm" blog which was recently taken down and deleted). These blogs are helpful indeed, but the problem is that they are all written by applicants who applied and moved in 2013 or prior -- a time before the European Immigration Crisis and the events that led up to it (which are described in more detail in Part 7), which caused asylum applications to boom.  This severely log-jammed Migrationsverket, and their ability to process applications speedily*. Prior to this time, uppehållstillstånd (or, a residence permit) was much quicker to procure; four months, in and out.  This has led several of us to false hopes in the beginning of our own applications, thinking we could expect a speedy turn around too.
* For added proof, please review the second-to-last paragraph of page 9 of this 2013 EMN Policy Report re: the beginning of increased times due to asylum seekers.  And again, in the middle of page 11 of this 2014 EMN Policy Report re: increased processing times.

It is, as you might imagine, quite a different story for applicants today.

While I cannot speak for everybody, this is our story.

(EDITED) The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 2: The Process (updated 9 Nov 2015)

EDIT (9 November 2015):  I wrote the following blog post less than 2 months ago, and already the wait times have elongated substantially.  I have also learned a lot more.  So, the following contains several changes to the original post (published 7 September, and updated once previously on 25 October). 

This is just a quick run-down of the process for applying for a UT ("Uppehållestillstånd, or residence permit) on the basis of a relationship. And just another reminder: this is the process for NON-EU CITIZEN APPLICANTS.  EU citizens have a whole different process.  Read more about it on MV's website here.

I've edited this piece several times as I learn new information. What you're about to read is not pretty, and it is not going to feel good.  So, prepare yourself for it.  However, it is the truth and the reality of the situation we (or, more appropriately, Sweden) has found itself in due to the refugee bonanza.  One thing you need to do is take a slow, deep, calming breath, and when you're ready, say firmly to yourself:  "I AM GOING TO SURVIVE THIS." Because, you will.  It will hurt like hell, but you WILL MAKE IT THROUGH.

With that said.....

The Swedish Sambo Visa in 2015 Part 1: What is it?

This topic will require several installments, as well as full disclosure that I am still figuring it out, piece by piece. Given that I am only little more than half way through the process (8 months and counting), I can't speak with full authority on how this will all shake out.  But I have 8 months under my belt, and have spoken to Migrationsverket ("MV") enough times to ensure they hate me, so I might as well share what I have learned about the Swedish Sambo Visa.

EDIT: A reminder that this is the overview for NON-EU CITIZEN APPLICANTS.  EU citizens have a whole different process.  Read more about it on MV's website here.

Our Story (once and for all!)

As I sit here at Starbucks with an old coffee cup full of wine (what people don't know won't kill them), I feel both exhausted and prematurely relieved to be writing this blog post.  I feel I have told Johan's and my story a hundred different times, to a thousand different people, in at least 50 different ways.

Here, for the first (and last) "official" time, is our story:

I have always been a lover of cultures and languages. I had studied 6 years of Spanish through high school and college, and was (at that point) an avid lover of Latin cultures.  However, while still in college, I met a guy of Swedish decent in my local gym.  He and I dated for several years, and I fell in love with how alien Swedish culture was from what I had grown up knowing.  I couldn't get enough of learning how a society like theirs worked, what drove their beliefs and opinions, what was at the root of their life philosophy and how it evolved to be as such.

I also took up learning the language recreationally, because I just thought it was cool-sounding. After college, the relationship came to a natural end, and we parted ways.  However, as the months passed, I felt my heart longing to learn more, missing so much that window into a different world that I had.  I continued to study the language through books, LiveMocha.com and InterPals.com, but it just wasn't enough. I wanted more than just a resource; I wanted direct access.

So, on 17 February 2010, on a rainy evening while procrastinating going to the gym, I hopped online and went into Facebook.  There, I typed in the Swedish version of my ex's last name (the only Swedish surname I really knew at the time), and drew up a list of people.  I selected the first goood-looking guy on the list (after all, who wouldn't want their penpal to be cute!), and sent him the following message:

Hej! Du känner mig inte, men jag försöker lära mig svenksa och jag behöver en "penpal"!  I just randomly found you on Facebook and was wondering if you'd be willing to send messages a little with me? We don't need to become friends or anything.  I'm just trying to learn the language and slang and stuff.  Kan du hjälpa mig?  Tack så mycket gärna!"

The next day, Johan sent me a message.  Over the course of the next 5 years, we would talk almost daily, often times for hours.  We also had a variety of failed trips to visit one another, and endured more hardships between us than ever before. 

In 2010, we had to cancel my first trip to visit him because of the eruption of Eyjafjallajökull.  Then, later that year, we had to cancel because Johan took a job in Norway and couldn't get the time off to be with me.

In 2011, I took a new job and Johan enrolled into a school program, which prevented either of us from being able to visit each other.  Later that year, a close friend of Johan's took his life, which cast an even darker pallor on us meeting up for the first time.  But still, we talked often.  

In 2012, I learned I had a tumor in my breast.  After much monitoring, it was determined it was benign, and I knew I was tired of waiting to meet Johan.  He was in the process of receiving keys to a second house his family purchased, and so I planned my trip to come visit him.  But escrow took forever and I couldn't reschedule my time off.  So, I booked my flight for Spain instead.  As luck should always have it, Johan received his keys after all.... but flights were impossibly expensive, so we had to forgo meeting up.  I remember sitting at London Heathrow on my leg back to Los Angeles, staring at my phone's GPS map and thinking of that quote from the movie GATTACCA where Ethan Hawke said, "I was never so sure of how far I was from my dream, than when I was standing right beside it."

In 2013, Johan finished up school but I slipped two discs in my back and was unable to do anything else but focus on the next 1.5 years of recovery.

Finally, in 2014, we were able to make it happen.  I flew out in the summertime, and despite the excitement and the jitters of the first 45 minutes or so, we quickly eased into being in the presence of one another, and the love and laughter has not ended since. 

There was one moment in particular, toward the end of my trip, as we were driving home from a ridiculous day of golfing and the sunset made the sky all shades of pink and purple, that I thought to myself, "I could live here all my life and be happy."  It was a strong statement, given I adjusted quite roughly to the isolation of the Swedish countryside, no matter how beautiful it was.

Johan and I never spoke of our feelings before that summer of 2014.  No doubt that after years of getting to know someone from the inside out, we both felt strongly for one another.  But to voice them without meeting in person and finding out for real if the chemistry was truly there, would have been crazy.  But the chemistry WAS indeed there, so strong that I couldn't deny it.  So strong that my heart must have swelled to 8 times it's size, because I choked on it the whole way to the airport on that awful day I had to leave. 

Johan came to visit me for a month between December 2014 and January 2015, and in that time, we decided that our love for each other was unavoidable, and that we needed to be together.  We knew we were "the one" for each other, and so we began the process of applying for a Sambo Visa in order that I may emigrate to Sweden to be with him.

Some pictures of us:

Sea Cave Kayaking in La Jolla!

At the Hollywood Sign

A dinner in the Gaslamp Quarter of San Diego

His first time trying a Rootbeer Float!

One of my absolute favorites. He is so handsome :)